Sage, I LOVE the second re-write (with a roll). Signature moves should be rolls in my mind, with fictional triggers and multiple outcomes. This is not just for the opportunity for a soft or hard hit and the resultant story changes, but also for the chance that the cleric may fail and thus hand me a golden opportunity on a plate so I can make as hard a move as I like that is so so tied in with the tense situation of failing that roll.
I also like the idea of lists and options.
So maybe as the given move....
When you hold forth your holy symbol in a show of faith roll+Wis.
On a hit, undead that can see you cower only for a few moments doing nothing but groveling before regaining their 'wits'. On a 10+ choose 2, on a 7-9 choose 1
*Name one undead creature and command it to flee your presence (once they leave they can return freely)
*all undead who can see you are held at bay until your show of faith stops
*deal your level x1d4 of faithful damage to the horde as you channel the wrath of your god
*Your God protects you from an imminent threat or suffering a calamity
Also, how does they new lack of monster levels effect the Paladin's rebuke undead moves?